Cry
by sapphire-child
Summary: A projected episode tag to 2x15. When Rousseau and Kate return with Claire and she wont talk to anyone about what she remembers, Kate comes to Charlie in sheer desperation.


Title: Cry  
Original post date: 15th February 2006  
Spoilers: Up to 2x14  
Summary: A projected episode tag to 2x15. When Rousseau and Kate return with Claire and she wont talk to anyone about what she remembers, Kate comes to Charlie in sheer desperation.  
Disclaimer: Yes I am secretly the creator, writer and producers of Lost all rolled into one. Ph33r my wrath. I'm also James Blunt – as you can tell by my shameless plugging of his song titles as titles of fic.

* * *

Kate was at her wits end as to what to do about Claire. She had refused all food, all water, all company.

And since they'd emerged from the jungle she hadn't spoken a single word to anyone.

Not Jack, not Sun, not even Kate herself. Even Rousseau had tried for a time. Sawyer, Libby, Rose...

Even John hadn't been able to get any response from her except for an increase in the tears that had been falling down her face, numb and cold.

And now there was only one person left to ask.

She knew where she knew where she'd find him, he'd grown into the habit over the last few days of dragging his guitar further up the beach, away from everyone else and just sitting there, poring over the frets and composing to himself. But today he'd been off with Eko doing god knows what – perhaps he wasn't even back yet?

Kate shuddered at the thought of Claire sitting there for much longer in whatever self-induced torture she was putting herself through. It wasn't healthy to keep something that hurt _that_ much inside of you. And Charlie had been there with her when Ethan had abducted them – if anyone could reach her, he was the one.

The question was; would Claire just push him away again? Even if he did understand what was wrong, Claire might still ignore him, her last hope, simply because she was still angry with him for everything he'd inflicted on her in the past week or more.

Would Charlie even want to help her? Kate pushed that thought aside immediately. She still remembered – probably better than anyone else she thought – what he had been like when Claire had been missing. He would help her regardless of whether she was angry with him or not.

The sound of a tuning guitar brought her to her senses again and she fairly ran the last few yards towards him. Charlie glanced up at the blur of movement in his peripheral vision and his eyes went wide at the look on Kate's face.

'What's wrong?'

Kate paused to draw a breath before speaking, her voice coming out in a rush.

'It's Claire. We went into the jungle today to see if she could remember what Ethan did to her because we think he did something to Aaron that's making him sick...'

Charlie was on his feet at the word 'Claire'.

'Why didn't anybody tell me Aaron was sick?' he demanded, discarding his guitar completely as he began to stride back up the beach. Kate darted forward and grabbed it before chasing after him.

'You've been off with Eko all day. I don't think anyone even realised that you didn't know until a few minutes ago but that's not important right now...'

'Well what is important right now?' Charlie snapped, coming to a halt and glaring at Kate. 'Why come tell me now?'

'It's not Aaron we're worried about right now,' Kate said wearily. 'It's Claire. She hasn't spoken a word to anyone since she came out of the jungle. She sat down on the beach and just started crying and she hasn't stopped for almost an hour.'

Charlie gaped at Kate for a long moment then his head whipped up the beach. Even at a distance it was possible to see Claire's slight figure, cross-legged on the sand. A gaggle of people stood a little way away from her, watching.

Charlie turned back to Kate.

'Why didn't somebody come and get me before now?'

'We didn't know where you were,' Kate said defensively. 'And besides, I – _we_ didn't feel that you were a prime candidate for trying to comfort her right now.'

Charlie's incredulity turned to anger. 'Have you all forgotten that I was the one who was with her when she was taken? Have you all forgotten that I was strung up by the neck and left to die because I tried to save her?'

'Of course we haven't!' Kate countered immediately. 'It's just after what happened with you and the drugs we didn't think that she'd really want to spill her guts to you of all people.'

Charlie didn't even answer. Instead he turned and continued to walk purposefully towards Claire, leaving Kate standing there holding his guitar and feeling as awkward as all hell.

* * *

'What exactly do you think you're doing Charlie?'

Charlie paused mid step to swivel around and glare at the collection of people who were watching Claire and his gaze fell upon the one who had spoken.

'I'm going to try and do what none of the rest of you can. Locke.'

'What makes you think that you of all people can reach her?' Locke said coldly.

Charlie took several menacing steps forward and looked straight into Locke's eyes, wishing he was tall enough to look down on him.

'Because unlike some people, I was actually there when Ethan took her.'

'Who's to say this is about her abduction at all?' Locke argued immediately. 'Something else might have upset her...'

'Something she wouldn't tell you about?'

Locke held a steady gaze. 'Perhaps something she doesn't want to tell anyone about.'

Charlie nodded. So all of them had tried their hand at getting her to talk and nobody had been successful. 'Well if she won't tell me then I'll gladly step back and let you try – again – to figure out what it is that's wrong. But in the meantime...'

Locke didn't say anything and Charlie turned back to Claire who was still hunched over.

'Hello Claire,'

She made no answer. There wasn't even a flickering of eyelashes to show that she'd even realised he was there. Charlie sat down next to her, crossing his legs and wrapping his arms around his ankles as she was doing.

And then he looked at her.

He could tell, even from her profile, that she'd been crying. Teardrops sparkled on her pale lashes and every so often the glittering in her eyes would take substance and trail down her face, falling off her chin and splashing onto the sand beneath her.

After several minutes of watching her profile quite silently, Claire turned her face ever so slightly towards him but her eye line dropped as soon as their eyes met. Charlie tilted his head so that he could look at her better.

'The others say that you haven't spoken since you came out of the jungle,' Charlie informed her, his voice soft. 'They think that I might be able to help you figure out whatever it is that's got you so upset.'

Claire blinked and several new tears rolled down her face as she turned her face away from him again.

Charlie waited.

And then he spoke again.

'You were in the jungle today, weren't you?'

Claire didn't answer.

'You were looking for answers?'

Again nothing.

'You found some...'

A slight flicker.

'...Didn't you?'

Claire hesitated for a long moment and then gave the tiniest of nods.

Charlie nodded back and then directed his gaze to her limp hands. They were lying in the sand like two pale shells, encrusted with the finest particles of sand. He resisted the urge to reach out and touch one.

Eyes still on her hands, he continued to speak, quite softly. 'I'm not going to try and persuade you to talk because I know that if you don't want to talk to anyone then you won't,' Claire looked at him a little more directly and Charlie smiled at her. 'You can be very stubborn when you want to be.'

Claire smiled back tremulously, her chin quivering.

'But I was there with you, out there in the jungle – at least for a time,' Claire's smile faded. 'And I know how terrified I was for just those few hours. But you…you were with Ethan for nearly two whole weeks. I can't imagine how scared you must have been. It's no wonder you forgot everything – I forgot a lot of things too. I didn't want to remember.'

Claire blinked as the tears came thicker and faster.

Charlie continued.

'I know I've done some stupid things lately, I know you're probably still angry at me and I know you wanted some space and time away from me but I want you to know that I'm still here for you. Just like I was there for you when you came back to us – to me.'

Claire gave a small sob, her shoulders were beginning to shake but still Charlie pressed on.

'If you want to talk it out, if you ever need someone to listen, someone who'll understand better than most of the others what happened to you out there – I'm here. I will always be here. Even if you don't want to talk, even if you just want somebody to sit with you when you cry. I'll be here. Okay?'

* * *

Claire nodded; pulling in short, sharp breaths. Charlie nodded back as Claire shut her eyes hurriedly to try and quell her tears.

'It's okay. Just breathe for a minute okay? Just breathe...' Charlie's voice was gentle and soft beside her. She followed his instruction, drawing in slow, juddering breaths of air and she felt the tiniest fraction better. 'That's it, in and out, nice and slow. Just keep breathing...'

But then quite suddenly she felt Charlie's hand on hers and that one, simple gesture, the barest touch of skin was her undoing.

She completely lost it.

She burst into loud, wailing sobs, her hand twisted around of its own accord and gripped Charlie's in a death grip and she felt herself begin to rock backwards and forwards as her sobs turned to moans and Charlie murmured her name, sounding close to tears himself.

'Claire...Claire...Claire...'

Claire opened her eyes again, and turned to face Charlie, desperate to see his face. His own eyes were filling with tears now as well and she shook her head as his other hand went to her cheek. She could feel the roughness of the sand on his palm against her cheek and the warmth of his breath on her face.

This physical closeness in any other situation would probably have felt so awkward, for both of them, but under the circumstances, Claire found herself wishing that she could just throw her arms around him and weep into his neck.

Charlie seemed about to choke on his own grief. 'What did he do to you Claire? What did he make you forget? Do you remember?'

Claire opened her mouth to speak but her throat seemed closed, obstructed by her knowledge, by her memories. She gulped several mouthfuls of air and then finally managed to squeeze out a single word, _'Everything,'_ before she collapsed onto his chest, clutching at his shirt and sobbing as though she was being torn apart from the inside out.


End file.
